Second Annual Encore “Best Of” Parody

It’s time again for our annual feature about Encore Magazine’s Best Of contest. This year’s ballot includes more than 50 categories for Food & Drink alone. It’s like today’s youth sports — everyone wins! Another category is Best Storage, which seems to me would be either the cheapest or the closest to the customer, because really, isn’t it just an empty garage? Best Place to Buy Gas? Hmmm, tough category this year. Kind of like asking for a favorite proctologist. Best Marina? Um, that would have to be the one that stores my boat.

Herewith, suggestions for Best of Categories for 2010 (and don’t be shy; this is interactive, so please join in the fun):

Best Cement Company

Best Bus Driver

Best Time to Fire Benny Moss

Best Azalea Bush

Best Pizza Topping

Best Traffic Light

Best Roadkill

Tackiest Seasonal Yard Display

Best Foreclosure

Best Philanthropy Disguised as Tax Shelter

Best Radio Blowhard

Best Weekend to Trash Masonboro Island

Best Yoga/Pilates/Tai Chi Instructor

Best Traffic Jam

Best Parking Ticket

Best Led Zep Cover Band

TV Channel With Most Commercials

Best OTH News Item

Best Spanish Moss

Most Annoying Pre-Recorded Phone Message

The ONLY Contractor to Return a Phone Call

Best Fire

Best 401k (if any still exist)

Most Ridiculous Unedited Letter to the Editor

Best Unkept Campaign Promise

Best Unnecessary Housing Development

Best Cemetery

Best Battleship

Best Place to Buy Cornstarch

Best Place to Witness a Fight Involving a Marine

Best Guess for ILM’s Next Destination