The Grove Project

Tuscan Grill: In name only

When a product claims to be 100% all beef and turns out to be a hot dog, do we really presume the declaration is honest? Usually, no. And that’s pretty much how I feel about the Tuscan Grill in Carolina Beach. While it maintains the company of few other restaurants on the island by at least aspiring to fine dining (Freddie’s in Kure Beach is still best), there’s not much Tuscan about the Tuscan Grill, except for those dishes that sneak that region of Italy into the name or description.

The restaurant is cute and romantic and has enormous potential with its Victorian look that is rather unique in Carolina Beach, a town that has always suffered from an inferiority complex alongside its more sophisticated resort cousin to the north, Wrightsville Beach.

Four of us visited recently for lunch and we were immediately impressed with the homey ambience and gentle décor. The wine list caught our eye, too, and we welcomed the generous pours by the glass. This was additionally appreciated since almost every dish we ordered arrived late.

While the dinner menu nods toward Italy with Tuscan Chicken and a cold Tuscan (there’s that word again) Antipasto, it also features what locals and tourists crave at the beach – Lump Crabmeat Cocktail, Pan Seared Scallops and Fresh Catch of the Day. The lunch menu holds no such illusions. Featured on this particular day were an “awesome” burger, a chicken sandwich, a quiche, and even a hot dog (“100% all beef,” natch).

While we bantered on for two hours and tried a few more nice glasses of wine, our food appeared in spurts. A cheese platter was pretentiously displayed and for $10.50 grossly overpriced for the modest “sampler” we could barely share.

Although the dinner menu features such cuts of beef such as Filet Mignon, Porterhouse and Sirloin, and all are cooked to specification, the burgers we ordered came with nothing but that assurance of awesomeness. This proved to be their downfall. Awesome in size only, the two mounds o’ meat we ordered were so overcooked that juice and taste were both eliminated in equal portions. The McDonald’s down the road, had it served wine, might have been a better option.

My wife suspected her Quiche to be of the frozen variety and a Tuscan Grilled Chicken Breast sandwich was deemed fair at best. Excepting one side dish of Marinated Mushrooms, the Tuscan theme thins prominently with Dill Potato Salad, Asian Noodle Salad, and Fresh Fruit Salad.

The wine and conversation made our meal fun and entertaining, but we all wondered what could have been had we stuck to our original plan of dining instead at Jack Mackeral’s, the plucky and consistent Carib-fusion restaurant down the road.

Someone disabuse me, please, of the notion that there is anything Tuscan about the Tuscan Grill. Change the name, ditch the charade, and stick with the upscale seafood and steak theme it so closely resembles. And if you’re going to be open for lunch, improve on the choices.

[where: Carolina Beach, NC]